As someone passes, there is a sudden blast of memories that flashes through you. When these memories come, they typically rush in with the magnitude of the impact, that the memories from that person had on you. Its almost like their soul exhaling the impact they’ve had on people. The memories a person have, can be represented in a distinct binary. The memories sum up to a simple good or bad.
On a simple level, your memories with someone really only go back to conversations or experiences with that person. Not being able to continue making these conversations or experiences is the hardest part of losing someone because every experience you have with any individual on this earth is different. Trying to fill in these unique characteristics and memories you’ve shared is impossible when someone is gone. You can’t replace the person and nor can you build new memories. They are only part of the past. On a deeper level the memories that hurt the most are the simplest. The memories of them being there and now not. Simple memories of opening the door and expecting to see them, clothes in closet, or even an empty dog bed.
If you’re sad when you’re reminded of someone, its because you miss them. This emotion should be embraced and reconstructed into a goal to live your life better, as that person would have wanted. Memories are all we have of our fallen friends and family.
Having children, allowing new people into your life, certain smells, objects, places, or “triggers” will resurface old memories. Its good, healthy, and challenging to go after these new things and not be afraid of resurfacing these memories. These old memories must be embraced and held onto for as long as you possibly can because they don’t last for ever, they get softer, less defined, and more of a dream as time moves.